The Way You Talk to Yourself Really Matters Mamas
“You were such a bad mom today for losing your cool.”
“I forgot to pack another outfit change. How dumb can I be?”
“You didn’t work out today so that means you’re lazy.”
Can you imagine if you said these things to someone else? It’s because you wouldn’t. How you talk to yourself matters. Unfortunately, many of us don’t realize we talk to ourselves like this all day long. Recently, I’ve fallen into the trap of negative self-talk and didn’t realize how much it was affecting my day-to-day life. We have thousands of thoughts that fill our minds every day so why not make them mostly positive. I know easier said than done, especially when the world tries to paint this narrative that all moms need to have it together, all the time to feel like they are a “good mom”. I’m here to tell you that it’s unrealistic and the way you talk to yourself is truly so important.
Here’s why. When we tell ourselves something over and over again, we start to believe it. Our thoughts can be so powerful that in turn what we say to ourselves can have such an effect on our beliefs, our families and our kids. I know whenever I get a negative thought, I always feel like my brain is wired to find ways to make me believe that my thoughts are true, even though they are so far from it. For example, as moms, it’s so easy to be so hard on ourselves as we want the best for our children. We may have a thought like, “I should not go back to work, because I am abandoning my baby, which means I’m a bad mother.” So untrue and the reality is that you’re not a bad mom, but if you’re constantly telling yourself this over and over you start to believe it. After a while, your beliefs can become so deeply held that it is difficult to change them. I’ve learned that the hard way and have realized that the way we talk to ourselves is a direct narrative of our lives.
It doesn’t happen overnight but something as simple as shifting our inner dialogue can make all the difference. For me, I’ve started journaling every morning and writing down daily affirmations. I used to think it was so silly but writing it down on paper and talking positive beliefs into my day before it even starts has made all the difference. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I wake up, feel exhausted and don’t feel positive whatsoever. Blake already had three meltdowns, Blaire spit up, Daisy pooped in the house, and it’s not even 9 AM, what’s next? What’s next is that instead of saying “oh well this day is going to stink" is that I’ve tried saying “welp, that wasn’t what I was expecting, but let’s get out of the house to change things up”. You wouldn’t believe what a simple drive in the car can do for everyone :)
Whenever you start to negative self talk, ask yourself if that’s how you would talk to someone else or your child? Most likely, the answer will always be no. Just by becoming aware and changing my negative statements with compassionate ones has made a huge impact in most recent weeks. I’ve been in a rut ever since my gluten flare up, and quite honestly haven’t felt myself. When I’m not feeling well, I know that negative thoughts are able to creep in more easily but the more I practice that positive self-talk and give myself grace, it ultimately is making me the best version of myself. Changing the way, you speak to yourself truly can change your life, always remember that.
