Spring Self-care Ideas
As a mom, it’s easy to feel like there’s not enough hours in the day. As much as I want to get things accomplished, most days they are put on the back burner as a million other tasks seem to arise. It also may feel like it gets harder and harder to do things for yourself and by yourself. Since becoming a mom, I’ve learned how important it is to prioritize self-care. It can be as simple as carving out time in your day to sit outside, read a book, or make a new spring playlist for car rides or walks. I’m obsessed with Russell Dickerson’s new song “Happen to Me”! It’s one of those songs that’s constantly on repeat and lifts my mood:) As moms, it’s so important that we take time for ourselves so that we can operate at our best for our kids. Without self-care, it’s like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode into a mom-meltdown. Trust me, I’ve been there!
Spring is one of my favorite seasons as it’s a time of new beginnings and renewal. Flowers begin blooming, birds are chirping, and the world seems to become alive again. It’s a perfect time to implement some self-care as the weather gets warmer too! I know it’s easier said than done, but again it doesn’t have to be this big daunting task! Some of my ideas may take you a whole day (like deep cleaning) if you really get into them, and some may take you just a few minutes! Deep cleaning can give your brain a quick reboot when you feel stressed and can help decrease your “mental clutter” as well. I recently wrote a blog post about decluttering your life. Make sure to check it out here if you haven’t already!
Let’s start with something as simple as looking around you. I know my anxiety starts to creep in when I look around my house and begin feeling overwhelmed by all the clutter. In these instances, I will pick one area of the house to tackle each day. I usually will pick one problem area (aka that junk drawer that keeps accumulating stuff) and either get rid of what we don’t need or organize it accordingly. I love this time of year as I go into a spring-cleaning frenzy. Try and ask yourself, what can I get rid of or what can I donate? Get rid of those clothes that don’t fit or the shoes you’ve been holding on to because there’s a good chance you won’t wear them. Donate them and let someone else put your shoes and clothes to good use! Another idea is going through that pile of paper that’s been sitting on your table for weeks. You’ll be amazed at how doing something so simple can make you feel accomplished which in turn boosts your mood. And just like that you’ve prioritized some self-care!
My other spring self-care ideas include sitting outside (even if it’s for 15 minutes!), meeting a friend for coffee, making a new playlist, getting a facial and last but not least working out, whether that be going for a walk, riding my Peloton bike or going to Pure Barre classes! I’m in love with Pure Barre but wow is it hard! It was a goal of mine this year to try a new workout and I’m so happy I did. I encourage you to try it if you haven’t already! I know it’s no mystery but moving the body can truly do wonders. It always gets me out of a funk and is such a mood booster. It also helps when you have cute and fun workout gear to help power you through. Here are my favorites below!
Shop My Top Workout Essentials
Workout Jacket - I recently ordered this workout jacket and it’s one of the cutest jackets I’ve ever owned! You can wear it from the gym to a lunch date and everywhere in between!
Workout Pants - The Alo workout pants are my favorite! They don’t slide down during your workouts!
Sports Bra - I recently got rid of a ton of my sports bras as they were all pilling and have found this Zella Sports Bra to be a winner! It has great support, even throughout intense workouts!
Tumbler - As much as I love my Stanley, I will say I grab my Brumate tumbler more! I love the no spill feature and find myself drinking more water throughout the day!
APL Shoes - I can’t say enough good things about these running/training shoes! They are beyond supportive and lightweight! I wear them during walks, to workout classes and of course for running. The quality is top notch, and they’ve held up very well over the last year for me!
Neck Fan - Need I say more! Perfect for those hot summer days when you take the kids out for a walk!
Hair Ties - Every woman needs these! They hold my hair in place during intense workouts. There’s nothing worse when you’re in the middle of a workout and your hair tie becomes loose. Not with these!
Fitness Tracker - As much as I love my Apple Watch, I’m finding I’m grabbing this fitness tracker more! The best part is it’s less than $30 but still includes amazing features! It has a sleeker look than the Apple Watch and allows you to track your steps, heart rate, temperature and even sleep cycles. The app is easy to connect too along with having a great battery life!
Gym Bag - Love this bag as it’s super lightweight with tons of room! Comes in several other colors too. Perfect for traveling as well!
Yoga Mat - Game-changer mat! Love using this post work out for stretching or whenever I do cardio classes on my Peloton app! Love the thickness of it and it provides ample support!
Lastly, I’ve found that planting can be so therapeutic this time of year! My husband got me hooked last summer and I’ve become a little obsessed. It’s honestly a great way to relax and helps me shift my mindset from all things mom life. Self-care for moms doesn’t have to be complicated. Pick something you love doing and make time to do it! I’ve found that creating a vision board and holding myself accountable weekly has helped me stick to my self-care goals! Remember that you matter too, and you aren’t being selfish! It’s important that we are the best versions of our ourselves so that we can encourage our kids to do the same!
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Effortless Mom-Friendly Spring Capsule Wardrobe
Happy Spring! Even though it doesn’t quite feel like spring up here in Massachusetts, I know warmer weather is on the horizon! After a long and cold winter, I’m excited to put away the heavy coats in exchange for a lighter wardrobe. As a mom always on the go, I know how hard it can be to curate cute outfits in a pinch. I truly feel like I’ve lived in sweatpants and hoodies the last couple of months, but I’m excited to elevate my style with some new spring pieces! I put together an easy-to-style spring capsule wardrobe to help moms feel a little more put together in their everyday lives. It’s hard as moms to find the time as we are always so focused on our kids, but having a capsule wardrobe can help take the guesswork out of getting dressed. This spring, my capsule is filled with some of my favorite spring finds. A capsule wardrobe is truly the best because you’re able to interchange pieces for every occasion. I find that having several of the same pieces helps me buy less, allows me to mix and match along with making me feel my best and put together.
Shop My 2025 Spring Capsule Wardrobe
I focused on whites, neutrals and denim this year. All these pieces are so easy to mix and match for an effortless look. The sweater and cardigan options are perfect for layering on chilly spring mornings and throwing over your shoulders when it’s warm by afternoon. The clogs and sandals are easy to slip on for when you’re rushing out the door but ultimately can pull your whole outfit together. There’s truly an outfit for every occasion within my capsule wardrobe that will make you feel your best this spring! If you do try any of my outfit ideas, please share as I love to see my mama friends in all different styles! Xo
Getting dressed should be the easiest part of your day! There’s no right or wrong when it comes to picking an outfit that works for you, but hopefully these pieces along with my outfit ideas will make you feel confident as the warmer weather approaches :) Spit up might be your current accessory, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too, outfits and all!
Toy Organization Ideas That Will Save Your Sanity
It’s officially that time of year! The birds are chirping, it’s getting darker later in the day and you can finally feel the seasonal depression leaving your body the minute it hits 50 degrees or above outside. Now that spring is right around that corner, it's time to open those windows, let fresh air in, and bring out all your patio furniture from hibernation. This is something I look forward to every year while my husband dreads it - he’s truly such a trooper! :) It also means it’s time for some spring cleaning! What better way to start than to declutter and organize your kid’s toys, including those toys that contain a million pieces or the toy that your kid’s had to have that now have about 15 missing parts. I was inspired to put together some of my favorite toy storage ideas at the request of one of my best mama friends. This mama along with many other friends I know are always looking to simplify and organize their kid’s toys while trying to keep their sanity in doing so. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than after a long day stepping on that Lego for the millionth time. In an attempt to help corral the chaos (trucks, dolls, and all), here are seven toy storage ideas and tips that are fun and practical for every mom!
#1 CUBBY TOY ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
So simple, yet so functional. This is something I started doing right after Blake was born. An easy way to keep toys tidy while making your home look put together. I also found that using wicker baskets makes everything look a bit cleaner and attractive! Don’t get me wrong, any cubby can do the trick, but I still like to think my home can look aesthetically pleasing after having kids :)
#2 DOLLS, STUFFED ANIMALS OR ACTION FIGURES ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
Such an easy way to store all those loveys, stuffed animals or action figures that seem to always take up a ton of space in a bin. I saw this idea on Pinterest and fell in love with it! An over the door shoe organizer is always a great way to pack and store your kid’s clothes when traveling as well.
#3 PIECES/PARTS ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
Do you ever feel like you can never keep track of all those small pieces to a specific toy? Because, same. This divided bin has been a game changer. It keeps all the small parts or pieces to a toy in one place and not scattered everywhere in a large bin. I keep these stored away where the kids can’t get them, so they aren’t randomly dumped somewhere either.
#4 SMALL TOY ORGANIZATION- Shop It Here
A simple but effective way to neatly organize tiles, blocks, cars/trucks, and even Legos. I love to label the bins as well because it maximizes the storage space.
#5 ART SUPPLIES ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
The white caddy is a great way to store crayons, pencils and markers. It’s lightweight, easy to carry and you can bring it anywhere. I store any paints in a glass canister. I do this because they are easy to see, neatly organized and if any paint overspills it’s not a pain to clean, so it’s a win-win! For all craft paper, stickers, or drawing pads I put them in a wicker basket. Again, it makes the area look more aesthetically pleasing!
#6 SENSORY BINS AND BOARD GAME ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
A couple weeks ago, Blake came into my room and put one of his sensory bins in my clothing organizer and it clicked! What a great idea bud! A great way to free up space and effortlessly stores away any sensory bins, board games, and books!
#7 - BULKY TOYS OR TOYS WITH HANDLES THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO PUT ORGANIZATION - Shop It Here
Last but not least, I love putting any bulky toys or toys with handles on our hat rack. Double functionality and frees up more space! Definitely not as aesthetically pleasing but the rack is in our mudroom so not a big deal.
Hopefully these ideas and tips will help clear up some clutter in your home! Kids will be kids, and your home will never be 100% tidy (something I’ve learned to let go of!) but I found that having a good system in place does wonders for all. Let me know if you try any of these ideas - happy toy organizing!
The Ultimate SAHM Schedule
Time is a tricky thing, especially after having kids. From balancing everyone’s schedules along with trying to find time to take care of ourselves, it’s easy to feel like there’s not enough hours in the day. Most days, I feel as though time has gone sideways in my home. Being home with two small children, has taught me a lot over the last year, especially patience :) I’ve learned that finding the perfect balance between self-care, childcare, and household tasks can be challenging but it can be done by prioritizing a schedule and maximizing on the little of time you do have each day. I know it can seem daunting but after being home this past year I feel like I finally have a grasp on an effective schedule that’s sure to keep you and your kids on track!
First and foremost, I’ve always thrived when I have some sort of schedule or routine in place. For me, seeing a visual schedule laid out each day helps me feel less overwhelmed and not as forgetful. Mom brain is a thing! To help me stay organized and plan my daily routines, I highly recommend this digital calendar. It’s a Wi-Fi smart touchscreen and allows you to app synch with multiple phones (even my hubby’s!) I also love it for meal planning so I’m not scrambling every night deciding what I’m going to feed the kids, even though they would both eat Mac and Cheese every night if they could :) I’ve learned that a balanced stay-at-home mom schedule is crucial to ensure your days run smoothly, along with maintaining your sanity. Breaking your day down into manageable time blocks is the first step. Let’s start with my morning routine - insert all the coffee.
Morning Routine
I truly believe how you start your day sets the tone for the rest of your day. It can be as simple as making your bed every morning. It makes you feel a sense of accomplishment that can kick start your day in the right direction. Most importantly, I’ve come to realize that prioritizing a morning routine before my kids wake up is essential and so beneficial for my mental health. It was hard at first waking up before the kids because I just wanted to get in as much sleep as possible but waking up even half an hour before them has been so beneficial for me in more ways than one. Whether it’s a morning meditation, workout or simply just sipping my coffee in peace (my favorite thing!), prioritizing self-care sets me up for a more calm and successful day with my kids. I even like to catch up on some shows during this time. My favorite right now is Southern Charm. I love Molly, she’s so down to earth!
Once I’ve savored all my morning alone time, I shift my focus on getting the kids up and ready. My number one tip is to get everything ready and laid out the night before. It can be annoying and something you want to put off but trust me when you’re running around like a crazy person the next day trying to get your kids ready and out the door, you’ll be thanking yourself later. Since both my kids are little (my son goes to day care part time) I usually will dedicate days that I have just my daughter to cleaning the house, grocery shopping or running a couple errands. On the days when I have both kids, I will dedicate an hour or more of my morning that involves some type of activity with the kids. This could be something as simple as on Tuesday’s we do craft projects and on Thursday’s we focus on sensory play. Blake and Blaire have been loving these sensory bins. I sometimes am able to hop on my Peloton or walk on my treadmill because the bins keep them very busy (win-win for everyone!) I’ve also been loving these spring activities on crappy days when I feel like I’m going to lose my mind being stuck inside with the kids. Can’t wait for warmer weather up here in MA!
Afternoon Routine
Next up is lunchtime. Definitely a crucial component to our day that allows both my kids and I to get our energy back up and get past that mid-day slump. Don’t be too hard on yourself to curate a perfect lunch for your kids every day. I try to focus on a balanced meal that includes meat, veggies and fruit. Somedays we’ll all just have a big bowl of mac and cheese and that’s ok. I used to let the kids watch tv during this time, but I started to cut that habit out and focus on each other’s company. I remember one of my favorite childhood memories was something so simple as eating together and sharing our days with one another as a family. As crazy as lunchtime can get, I try and take this time to just sit, relax and catch my breath for a couple minutes. If you’re looking for quick, balanced meals for toddlers, my kids have been loving Nurture life meals. They are doing a promotion now where you get 50% off your first week and 20% off your second and third weeks. Here is the promo code if you’re interested - Menus | Healthy Kids Meal Delivery Service | Nurture Life.
I will say after lunchtime I feel like I’m just straight up exhausted and look forward to naptime. My son who just turned three is somewhat boycotting naps right now so we are calling it quiet time where he can sit in his room and read some books. Somedays it just doesn’t work out and, in that case, I will let him watch a show while Blaire sleeps. We are super into all things Paw Patrol at the moment. Can’t get the theme song out of my head, moms iykyk.
When the late afternoon arrives, and we’re done with nap/quiet time, I will take the kids for a walk or let them play outside if it’s nice out. During the colder months, I usually will take them to our local kids’ gym or museum that will get us to dinnertime. Sometimes, I will switch our morning activities to the afternoon and vice versa. On some days, I find that going to our local gym in the morning is better to get the kid’s energy out and then in the afternoon I’ll devote an hour to activities. If you’re local to Western MA, I would highly recommend My Gym or Amelia’s Park Children’s Musuem. I’m also looking forward to taking them to Magic Wings Butterfly Conservatory this spring. I’ve heard great things!
Evening Routine
You’ve almost made it! It’s that time of day where I begin to prepare dinner. Usually, my husband is just getting home when the kids are eating so we usually will have a snack and eat with them because as I mentioned before I truly believe in sitting down and eating together as a family. It’s such an important value I want to teach my kids. I also have been involving Blake in the dinner prep process because it teaches him valuable skills, such as understanding measurements and following recipes. It can be messy and slow down the process, but I try and remember that I won’t get these moments back and I’m setting him up for success later in life.
Post dinner, we will unwind as a family. For us that usually entails my husband rough housing with Blake (God Bless) while I play with Blaire. I will also say I’m very lucky because my husband gives me time to decompress while he plays with the kids. I definitely will take advantage of this time whether that means aimlessly scrolling Tik Tok or just sitting in silence :)
It’s finally that time; let the bedtime routine commence! I can finally see the end to a long day in sight. I would be lying if I said, I don’t get a little excited when bedtime rolls around. Setting up a routine for the kids at night has been so vital. It gets them in the mindset that it’s time for bed, or so I like to think. Don’t get me wrong, Blake is a loose cannon most of the time before bed and sometimes the whole routine can go out the window. I’m right there with you! However, establishing a routine has really helped and created a smoother transition to sleep. It looks like the following for us:
Take a bath
Put on our pajamas
Brush our teeth
Read a book, or a few :)
Go to the bathroom
Lights out
I also recently bought this bedtime checklist for Blake, and it keeps him on track! I know how hard this time of day can be, but I try and stay as calm and patient as possible because the minute I show a little frustration, it’s like I’m starting their bedtime routine all over. I never knew what patience truly was until I became a mom.
Time for Mom and Dad
Once Blake and Blaire are down for the night, my hubby and I will sit down and have dinner together. I found that spending one-on-one time is so beneficial as it can be hard to carve out time during the day since we both are moving in a million directions. We also love to watch new shows together and are currently watching Night Agent on Netflix. Let me know if you have any other good recommendations! I also have learned that turning my phone off or putting it away after 8-9 PM can help me prioritize better sleep so I’m not aimlessly scrolling late at night.
At the end of the day, do what works best for you and your family! You know your kids best but I’m here to tell you that mastering your day as a stay-at-home mom is achievable! It takes time and effort to get a schedule in place but sooner than later once you’ve established what works or doesn’t, your routine will be a well-oiled machine. If I could leave any advice, and I’m saying this to myself too, it would be to embrace the journey while your home. Your house isn’t always going to be clean, there will be loads of laundry, and you might feel like you’re failing, but enjoy all the precious moments you can with your kids while they are little. Motherhood is hard yet beautiful but always remember hard right now is not hard forever.
3 Life Lessons I’ve learned from my now three-year old
I blinked and just like that I have a three-year old! It feels like yesterday we were welcoming our little Blake into the world. A day filled with so much joy as I held my precious boy for the first time. Becoming a mom gave me a whole new purpose and of course reset all my priorities. As much as Blake was learning and taking in his new world, so was I. Fast forward to toddler life, which truly isn’t for the weak, Blake became more adventurous and learned how to communicate his emotions (lots of BIG emotions!) to the people around him. As I reflect back on the last three years, Blake has shown me the true meaning of love and patience along with so many other life lessons - (here are three that stick with me daily!)
There is beauty in simplicity.
I learned that true beauty can be found in the mundane. Your day-to-day routines are just as important as your big moments or grand adventures in life (even though they can be more exciting!) Blake is an expert at appreciating the small beauties in life. Whether it’s the tiny flowers we stop to pick together during our walks, the pancakes he bakes with his dad every Saturday morning or just watching his face light up every time he greets his friends, he’s always teaching me to see the magic in everyday moments I might otherwise overlook.
Be present.
Something that I continually strive to work on as sometimes I find myself distracted or trying to get a million things done throughout the day. Blake has taught me that my full, undivided attention is so much greater than the sum of my attention split among many things at once. I’ve learned that the dishes or laundry can wait, so that I can go all in on the game he wants to play or the book he wants me to read. I’ve learned to give my full attention to the people around me, while leaving social media, phone calls or any other distractions for another time. I won’t get these moments back, no matter how big or small they are.
A smile or a hug can make all the difference.
Blake has taught me whenever possible, spread love. An unprovoked hug or smile by him lifts my spirits in an instant, reminds me of the beauty that surrounds me, and leaves me filled with love and joy. I can only imagine a world if we all took the same approach as Blake where such a simple gesture could change a person’s day. I strive to take this approach daily.
Three simple lessons that have made all the difference. Blake has taught me many lessons over the last three years, but these stick out the most. As each year passes, I’m reminded that being a mother is truly the greatest gift; challenges and all. The highs are high, your worries are normal, but your child’s love is unconditional. I can’t imagine life without my beautiful babies, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I hope one day I can share with Blake the lessons he has taught me because he’s changed me for the better. Happy 3rd birthday to my sweet boy! Many more beautiful lessons and memories to come! Xo
Blake’s THIRD YEAR DOWN!
A Fresh Start
It’s that time of year again. The holidays are over and your home starts feeling more chaotic rather than cozy. I begin feeling that way the minute we start taking all our Christmas decorations down. With all the hustle and bustle of the season, it’s normal to feel like things got out of hand, especially as you look around your home (glitter and all). One of my resolutions moving into the new year was to simplify and what better way to start than to declutter. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the only one who loves to organize at the beginning of every year. I truly love to declutter and organize my home because when my home is organized so is my mind. Over the years, I’ve found some useful tips and tricks that might help you tackle your clutter more effectively and efficiently.
First, set realistic expectations. Decluttering can be overwhelming so instead of tackling everything all at once I found that dedicating each day to new tasks to be most effective. Every January I use this 30 Day Declutter Challenge Guide that keeps me motivated and on task. I also plan on getting the kids more involved this year as well whether that be helping me clean out the fridge or organize their toy bins. Blake is currently at the stage where he loves throwing things in the trash so it’s a win-win!
Second, is to organize and sort. I found that organizing items by groups of what you want to keep, sell, donate, or just throw in the trash to work best. When it comes to decluttering, I usually first gravitate to my clothes. I organize them by season and then begin grouping pieces that I want to keep and then move on to sell. If you’re local, I hope to have a tag sale this year so stay tuned! I then will usually donate items to Goodwill or a local children’s store (Once Upon a Child) and the rest will go in the trash (aka anything with lots of rips, non-washable stains, etc.) I repeat this process for other areas of my home as well such as my pantry, fridge and garage. Some of my favorite home organization products are shown below (click here to shop or on the image!)
Third, and what I constantly am working on is sticking to habits and a plan. Habits build over time and before you know it, you’ll feel less stressed since you built time in your day to complete some organizational tasks. It can be as simple as making sure you load and unload your dishwasher every day. Seems so simple but it can truly make such a difference. I like to start each day with a fresh perspective and sometimes when I walk out to dishes piled high in the sink it hinders that. Another small organizational task is making your bed daily. I read somewhere that if you make your bed daily, you’re setting your day up for success and a proactive mindset. Again, another small task that can be overlooked but can make a huge impact towards your day. I also love using our fridge calendar to keep me on track because then I don’t have to worry about forgetting something (mom brain is real!) You can shop our fridge and other calendars here!
Lastly, it’s ok to get off track. I used to get off track and that would completely deter me for the rest of the year. We are human and not perfect so if you find yourself throwing clothes in the back of your closet or groceries to the bottom of your pantry it’s normal! Just recognize it and instead of delaying “getting to it”, tackle it head on before the accumulation of whatever it may be gets out of control. Spend 15 minutes at the end of each day tidying up to prevent messes from piling up. You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it can make!
Just remember that decluttering doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey so don’t worry if you get off track or don’t have the motivation most days. As moms we have enough on our plates, but I can wholeheartedly say that when I started prioritizing small organizational tasks they began to lead to big wins. Start small and remember to celebrate your progress along the way. Here’s to a simplified 2025!
Realistic Resolutions I’m Making as a Mom of Two
I truly love New Year’s Resolutions! With every new year that approaches, it’s a fresh start, a new perspective and a great way to set some goals for the year ahead. There’s something about setting goals at the beginning of the year that makes me want to be the best version of myself, especially when it comes to being a mom! As 2024 comes to an end, I can’t help but reflect on how many of God’s graces I received along with so many memories we created as a family. It was also a year that I learned a lot about myself as I left my corporate job in April and became a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t realize how hard it would be but truly learned the value of patience. I often found myself getting stressed over the smallest things and looking back I wish I didn’t. If only we could go back in time and tell ourselves what we know now, but that’s the beauty in life, especially in motherhood as we are always learning and evolving. As 2025 approaches, I’ve set some realistic expectations that will hopefully bring out the best in me and my family.
Cut my social media time in half. I often found myself mindlessly scrolling which ultimately led me being on social media way too much. As much as I love taking pictures and capturing special moments, I didn’t realize how it was starting to negatively affect me. It’s easy to get caught up and compare, but not putting pressure on myself to document every picture worthy moment is what I plan to focus on. As much as I love sharing my life on social media and connecting with so many friends, there are times where I wouldn’t mind if it was gone for good. Like everything else in life, moderation is key.
Slow down. This past year I felt like I needed to take the kids out and do a million things to make them happy. I’ve learned that being present is simply enough, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. Blake could care less if I took him to our local gym or played blocks with him all morning. As long as we are together, that’s all that matters.
Simplify. Decluttering my mind and my life. Focusing on what and who brings me joy. When I was growing up my mom always used to say, “your eyes are the portal to your soul”. I would always laugh it off, but it’s the truth. Feeding your mind, body and soul with things that align with who you are and want to be is so important. So simple, but life changing.
Take up a new hobby. As much as I love my Peloton and will continue riding my bike, I need something else too! When you start something new it can be so exciting and such a mood booster. I want to get out of my comfort zone and try something I’ve never done before. I’m going to start Pure Barre! I’ve heard great things about it and think it would be challenging yet so much fun for me! Let me know if you’ve ever tried it :)
Last but not least, listening to my body. I recently had a health scare and it truly put everything into perspective. If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. As moms, we often put ourselves on the back burner, but it’s important to remember that we have to take care of ourselves too in order to be around for our kids.
2025 will be a year of growth. Getting out of my comfort zone, learning from my mistakes and becoming more present guarantees everyone gets the best version of me. Wishing all my mamas a happy and healthy new year ahead!
Our Christmas Traditions
Now that Blaire is officially one and my party planning days are behind me, hello Thanksgiving but most importantly, Christmas! It’s truly the most wonderful time of year! Celebrating the holidays with kids is such a magical time and as parents we want to soak up all the moments. I remember when I was a kid how magical my parents made this time of year and how I still to this day remember all our special family traditions. Even though Blake and Blaire are still so little, we’ve already created some family traditions that I hope they can pass down to their kids someday. The holidays are always a chaotic time of year so I’m here to help and share some traditions that you may want to incorporate as a family this year!
I’ll start by saying, don’t put pressure on yourself to start a ton of Christmas traditions all at once when your kids are super little. You can truly start them at any time. In fact, my family has even added some new traditions over the past couple of years (we usually fly down to Florida now if we can, and this year we are!) My favorite tradition by far is opening gifts on Christmas Eve and saving one gift for Christmas Day. There’s something so special about opening gifts under your twinkling tree at night. I also feel like it’s less chaotic than Christmas morning and less wrapping paper I have to clean up before we head out for all our Christmas celebrations :)
Next is, buy a special ornament every year. For Blake’s first Christmas we made a handprint ornament and for Blaire’s we did a mistletoe ornament which was super sweet! As the kids get older, we will start collecting them from places we visit as a family, that way we can commemorate our special memories from that year.
Third, is setting up our nativity set and remembering the true meaning of Christmas. My mom got the kids the cutest nativity kid set (linked here) and when I’m setting up the one on our mantle the kids have theirs to play with as well. It’s also a great time to explain the significance of every piece.
Fourth, is watching the same Christmas movies every year! I can’t tell you the number of times my husband and I have watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (“you serious Clark?”) along with Four Christmases and they never get old. We look forward to them every year and know every line :) Blake loved Home Alone last year which is another classic!
Lastly, and something my husband and I began doing last year is writing out a family bucket list for the next year. It’s a great way to get excited and start imagining about all the fun things you want to do as family. My husband and I are planning on taking our kids back to where we celebrated our first-year anniversary or potentially taking our first family Disney vacation. So many great things to look forward too!
If there’s anything you take away from this post, it’s to be present with your kids this holiday season. It’s easy to get caught up and want everything to be perfect, but there’s no such thing as perfection. Creating family traditions is worth more than anything you can buy. In the words of Charlie Brown, “it’s not what’s under the Christmas tree that matters, it’s who is around it.”
To my baby girl,
I can’t believe you’re ONE! To everyone else it’s just another day but to me it’s a flashback of all the special moments we went through this past year. We did it! I have never felt so much purpose in my life. Being your mom is truly the greatest gift of all. It’s definitely been an emotional rollercoaster but in the best way. I’ve never felt so many conflicting emotions all at once; joy, guilt, anxiousness, excitement, exhaustion, the list goes on.
Birthdays have always been so special to me but celebrating your first birthday is extra special and such an accomplishment. I’ve learned so much about myself and that little smile has made our days that much sweeter. The beginning was challenging since Blake had RSV the day you both met, but you made that challenging moment a beautiful one. Watching the bond grow between you and your brother over the last year is something indescribable. I can’t wait to watch your spunkiness unfold even more this upcoming year with Blake. He’s in trouble :) If anyone loves making you laugh, it’s your big brother.
Thank you for making me a girl mom. I’ve always dreamt of having a daughter and dressing her up with all the bows! I know you aren’t really into them as much anymore, but I will keep dressing you for as long as I can, bows and all! Thank you for being mine. You are my reason to be a better and more genuine person, to be real and present and not let life pass me by. You are forever my baby girl, and a piece of Heaven sent from above. Happy first birthday sweet girl! Here’s to many more years ahead!
Love,
Your Mom XO
Finding JOY this holiday season
In the words of Mariah Carey, “IT’S TIMMMMEEEE!” The holiday season is finally here! I can’t believe we are already in November and my daughter will be ONE next week. So many emotions but so much to look forward too as well! While the holidays can be such a magical time, they can also be overwhelming and not as perfect as all the Hallmark movies suggest (yes, I love and watch them!) During the holiday chaos, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed but I’ve found how important it is to take a step back and focus on what truly matters. Not everything will be picture perfect and that’s ok! Amidst all the chaos we face as moms during this time, reminding ourselves to slow down and putting everything in perspective is key. It’s so important to find joy, even during those hard moments this time of year! Here are some tips that I’ve found helpful to feel less overwhelmed during this holiday season!
Lower expectations! With most things in motherhood, we want everything to be or go perfect for our kids. It’s ok if what you had envisioned doesn’t go as planned. I remember putting so much pressure on myself for Blake and Blaire’s “firsts” during the holidays. Getting a picture in their first holiday onesie or having that first holiday meal be perfect when family was over. I learned the hard way, but most likely things won’t go as planned. It’s normal and just remember as much as this time of year is chaotic for you, it’s just if not even more chaotic for your kids. Your little one won’t always love taking pictures, seeing Santa, or being around different people. I remember Blake screaming his first year in Santa’s lap. I was bummed that’s not what I had envisioned, but I will say I got great pictures to show him when he’s older :) It’s best to just go with the flow and not get so down on yourself if things don’t go as planned. Cherish these times with your littles because there will be plenty of moments when they are older for grander holiday celebrations.
Don’t worry about going overboard on presents. I am so guilty of going overboard with gifts. I’ve learned that most likely my kids will remember our family traditions rather than gifts. Don’t get me wrong, I love to spoil them but making those memorable family traditions this time of year is everything. I like to celebrate the feast of Saint Nicholas with my kids since that was something I celebrated as a kid. Also, when you have littles, they aren’t going to remember all the gifts, so give yourself grace! It’ll also be one less thing for you to worry about.
Be present. It can be easy to get caught up in the holiday chaos. I sure have because I’ve wanted to capture every moment. As Blake gets older, I’ve found how important it is to be present. This means putting down my phone, ridding myself of any distractions and truly living in the moment. Don’t forget to savor this time with your family.
Lean on your people. If support is there or offered, take advantage of it. Go holiday shopping, do some errands, and sit in silence in your car (yes, it’s amazing).
Lastly, remember the holidays are supposed to be filled with joy and love. Unfortunately, we always feel the stress part. Shifting your perspective can truly change your mindset and mood. The holidays are so magical so keep that your focus. Also, for some of us the holiday season can be hard and a source of pain. For our family, it’s such a joyous time with my kids of course but I can’t say it isn’t hard not having my father-in-law around. It’s ok not to feel happy all the time during this season. You’re not alone. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time but knowing that my husband and I can pass down our childhood traditions to Blake and Blaire is everything and what we focus on.
The true joy of the season is our children. Creating traditions, being with family and showing acts of kindness are the simplest but best ways to celebrate. At the end of the day, the best gift we can give to our kids is love.
Blake looking for Santa!
Take the photos with your little ones
Time is a thief and isn’t slowing down. Take the photos because you won’t get these moments back. We recently just had our family photos done, and while it can be stressful, I never look back and regret getting our photos taken. It’s a way to freeze time and have a tangible reminder of that special bond between you and your kids. And trust me, these are memories that you and your family will treasure for years to come. Since we’ve done a number of family photos since both my kids were born, here are some tips I’ve found are helpful to make it a fun and stress-free experience where you don’t feel like pulling your hair out :)
First and foremost, don’t have any expectations. Embrace the chaos and just roll with it. I always feel like I put so much pressure on myself to make sure everyone is smiling, looking at the camera, etc. I’ve learned that most likely that won’t be the case and to let these unrealistic expectations go. Getting photos taken is truly about capturing your family in the moment. Crying faces and all!
Be patient. Blake can be so unpredictable at times (toddler life!) so I’ve learned to just be flexible and go with the flow. His best moments have been captured when he’s simply being himself. For Blaire’s first birthday photoshoot, the cutest moments were captured when they both were eating her cake. It was truly like we were capturing them in their daily lives. He was so happy and himself and that brought out Blaire’s sweet smile. It wasn’t like we were forcing something to be. Most likely, these will be my favorite photos because it was my kids being themselves.
Pack everything the night before. Trust me, I’ve been there where I think I can just get everything and everyone ready morning of and it’s been a fail every time. Packing everyone’s outfits, bottles, toys, snacks, you name it the night before is key. This way you aren’t running around frantically morning of. I also sleep better at night knowing that everyone is all ready to go in the morning.
Lastly, show up as you would any other day. For some of my first family photos we had done, I styled my hair a different way. It wasn’t me and I wish I would’ve worn my hair like I usually do. I also like to wear outfits I’ve worn before that way I know how they are photographed and something I’m comfortable in (what I wore!). I try to wear earthy tones or all black because they photograph the best in my opinion.
Even though it can be stressful, if you can take the photos do it! You’ll never regret having photos to look back on and they will be a cherished reminder for generations to come. I always say go in with a positive attitude and let your photographer let the magic unfold. Nine times out of ten if you have no expectations and a good attitude, everything usually works out better for everyone!
Self-care during the Fall: What I’m doing
Autumn is a season of change. The leaves are changing colors, the air is getting crisper, and everywhere you go, tis the season for all things pumpkin spice. Fall is hands down my favorite season and I look forward to it every year. There’s something so peaceful about going outside and seeing all the beautiful colors, plus you can wear a light jacket and be comfortable. Fall is also a season where the holidays are quickly approaching, you begin to juggle all your kids’ activities, and as a mom things just automatically get busier this time of year. I’m definitely feeling that way and Blake and Blaire aren’t even involved in sports yet. When life does get busy it’s easy to push ourselves to the bottom of the priority list as moms. We say we’re too busy, have too much to do and looking after ourselves can wait. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past couple of years, it’s that there is never a perfect time to do something. We are all busy but it’s so important to make time for ourselves as moms, even just for a few minutes every day to relax, recharge and reset. I have felt less stressed and feel more energized for whatever my day might throw at me by doing so. Self-care doesn’t have to be this big thing, but simple practices you can implement during your days to feel less stressed and more energized. Here are some things I will be doing this fall in regard to self-care.
Getting outside, even if it’s for 10-15 minutes a day. It’s amazing how much fresh air (especially that cold air) can do for you when you’re in a funk. I remember when I was pregnant with Blaire my doctor would always tell me to go sit outside, even if it was for 10 minutes to clear my mind and boost my mood. It’s such a simple thing, but fall is the perfect time to do so. Also, for someone who struggles with seasonal depression, I make sure I get outside every day, even if it’s a short walk. I will set small/realistic goals for myself (5-7K steps per day) so that makes me want to get outside even more so I can hit my goal. I noticed when I would set unrealistic goals, I would stress out over not meeting them and honestly wouldn’t even go outside because I already felt defeated and exhausted by the kids.
Keeping up with healthy eating habits. It can be so easy to indulge this time of year, especially with Halloween and Thanksgiving approaching, but I do try and focus on whole foods that will give me energy and avoid me getting sick. Don’t get me wrong, I love all things pumpkin spice this time of year but fueling my body properly has helped with my mental clarity and I notice I have more patience. I also have celiac disease, and after my recent gluten flare up, I’ve become more in tune with what I’m putting into my body. Balance is key.
Taking time off social media, even if it’s for a day. I have a love-hate relationship with social media. As much as I love connecting with friends and family, it can be very detrimental to my mental health. Studies have shown how social media has increased depression and anxiety disorders. I’m not surprised because I’ve fallen victim to it at times. Social media can be overwhelming as we are exposed to so much content all at once and try to process what we’re seeing. Always remember it usually is a highlight reel, and no one’s life is “perfect”. We are all human at the end of the day.
Reconnecting with friends. I’m so grateful for all my mama friends. I’ve met and connected with some amazing moms over the last couple of years. We are all on the same journey together, so when we get together my spirits always feel lifted, and I don’t feel alone. If you have friends that live far away, schedule a time to talk on the phone to catch up, even if it’s for 15 minutes. It is an instant mood booster, and there’s usually a new story about the kids to bond over!
Decluttering my home. I found “less is more” to be even more true after having kids. Cleaning and organizing is so therapeutic for me. You don’t have to take on any big projects but taking a look around your home and identifying some decluttering projects is such a great form of self-care. I always feel so accomplished after doing so and feel like my brain feels less chaotic.
Last but not least, getting ready for the day. When I was working in an office full time, I always used to dress up and do my makeup. I stopped doing that when I started staying home with the kids but didn’t realize how much it was having an impact on my day. Now when I wake up, I try and make time for my skin care routine, putting on a little makeup and making my bed. So simple but can go along way and start your day off with a sense of accomplishment.
As moms, self-care may seem difficult, especially with little kids or a schedule that’s jam-packed. We push ourselves to the end and then wonder why we’re feeling so worn out, tired, and stressed out. Again, self-care doesn’t have to be anything big, but implementing these practices into my daily routine with the kids has been so impactful. Always remember that self-care isn’t selfish and that we as moms need to take care of ourselves too.
It’s that time of year again
Fall is here, which means snotty noses, mysterious rashes and everything in between. I’m no expert but as a mom of two littles, with one of them being in daycare, I feel like we’ve had every sickness in the book. With that being said, I feel more prepared than ever and wanted to share some of my favorite products that have helped my littles get through some sick times along with others that I give them for preventative measures. Again, I’m no doctor but I’m the average mom who has dealt with most of these not so lovely sicknesses that seem to come during this time of year.
Dr. Noze Best Nasal Aspirator - If I could recommend anything, it would be this product. The suction level is unmatched to other products on the market and let’s just say it gets the job done.
Mary Ruth’s Elderberry Liquid Drops - I give these to Blake daily and it helps support his immune system. Perk is that he actually likes the taste! Elderberry is known to fight flu like symptoms and has anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. I also take these and it gives me that extra immune support during the colder months.
Mary Ruth’s Multivitamin Drops - I give these to Blake daily and it has all the essential nutrients for toddlers. He doesn’t mind the taste so again a win in my book!
Wellements Vitamin D Drops - I gave these to Blake when he was a baby but now give them to Blaire. There are so many benefits to Vitamin D, but it helps promote healthy growth and bone development. I started giving these drops to Blake and Blaire right after they were born.
Canopy Bedside Humidifier - I have this humidifier in both Blake and Blaire’s rooms and it’s worth the hype. Trust me, I think I’ve tried every humidifier on the market, and I have to say this is my all-time favorite. Primarily, because of its mold prevention technology. Most humidifiers I’ve owned have always accumulated mold, but this one does not (the water is absorbed through a filter which needs to be changed every 5-7 weeks). I also love that it can run up to 36 hours on a full tank. This is huge because as a mom we aren’t primarily focused on changing the water in our humidifiers :)
BeKoool Soft Gel Sheets - Unfortunately when that time comes, and your child gets sick these are great for fever discomfort. Keeps Blake cool and stays put until you’re ready to take it off.
Thermal-Aid Bear - Blake loves this bear as a cuddle buddy for when he’s sick, especially when he has earaches. It’s hand washable and actually holds heat. Most heat packs are way too hot to start off with and then they cool off quickly, but this one holds the warmth pretty consistently for over half an hour.
Boogie Vapor Bubble Bath - Use this religiously in the bath when both kids get sick. It helps so much with congestion and has a soothing scent to it.
Boogie Nose Wipes - These come in clutch for whenever we are on the go. Perfect size wipe for runny noses and they are super gentle and soft. They also don’t dry out super easily which is a huge plus!
Touchland Hand Sanitizer and Pouch for us moms - Keep this in my diaper bag and purse. I also have the pouch which can attach to anything and makes for easy access!
Boogie Hand Sanitizer Spray - Use on both kids and no strong scent.
Frida Baby No-Mess Vapor Rub - Use this on both kids and there’s no mess! The applicator makes it so much easier to apply when your kid isn’t feeling well (no sticky hands for mama!)
At the end of the day, we want nothing more than for our kids to be healthy. When that time comes and they do get sick, hopefully some of these products can alleviate stress on you as a mom and make your kids more comfortable. There’s truly nothing worse than seeing your child in pain so the sooner they can feel like themselves again, the better.
The Way You Talk to Yourself Really Matters Mamas
“You were such a bad mom today for losing your cool.”
“I forgot to pack another outfit change. How dumb can I be?”
“You didn’t work out today so that means you’re lazy.”
Can you imagine if you said these things to someone else? It’s because you wouldn’t. How you talk to yourself matters. Unfortunately, many of us don’t realize we talk to ourselves like this all day long. Recently, I’ve fallen into the trap of negative self-talk and didn’t realize how much it was affecting my day-to-day life. We have thousands of thoughts that fill our minds every day so why not make them mostly positive. I know easier said than done, especially when the world tries to paint this narrative that all moms need to have it together, all the time to feel like they are a “good mom”. I’m here to tell you that it’s unrealistic and the way you talk to yourself is truly so important.
Here’s why. When we tell ourselves something over and over again, we start to believe it. Our thoughts can be so powerful that in turn what we say to ourselves can have such an effect on our beliefs, our families and our kids. I know whenever I get a negative thought, I always feel like my brain is wired to find ways to make me believe that my thoughts are true, even though they are so far from it. For example, as moms, it’s so easy to be so hard on ourselves as we want the best for our children. We may have a thought like, “I should not go back to work, because I am abandoning my baby, which means I’m a bad mother.” So untrue and the reality is that you’re not a bad mom, but if you’re constantly telling yourself this over and over you start to believe it. After a while, your beliefs can become so deeply held that it is difficult to change them. I’ve learned that the hard way and have realized that the way we talk to ourselves is a direct narrative of our lives.
It doesn’t happen overnight but something as simple as shifting our inner dialogue can make all the difference. For me, I’ve started journaling every morning and writing down daily affirmations. I used to think it was so silly but writing it down on paper and talking positive beliefs into my day before it even starts has made all the difference. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I wake up, feel exhausted and don’t feel positive whatsoever. Blake already had three meltdowns, Blaire spit up, Daisy pooped in the house, and it’s not even 9 AM, what’s next? What’s next is that instead of saying “oh well this day is going to stink" is that I’ve tried saying “welp, that wasn’t what I was expecting, but let’s get out of the house to change things up”. You wouldn’t believe what a simple drive in the car can do for everyone :)
Whenever you start to negative self talk, ask yourself if that’s how you would talk to someone else or your child? Most likely, the answer will always be no. Just by becoming aware and changing my negative statements with compassionate ones has made a huge impact in most recent weeks. I’ve been in a rut ever since my gluten flare up, and quite honestly haven’t felt myself. When I’m not feeling well, I know that negative thoughts are able to creep in more easily but the more I practice that positive self-talk and give myself grace, it ultimately is making me the best version of myself. Changing the way, you speak to yourself truly can change your life, always remember that.
Flying with a baby and toddler, ALL you need to know!
It’s almost that time again! Traveling for the holidays with the whole family is coming up! While I’m excited to change up my scenery and catch up with family, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about traveling with the kids. First off, let me start by saying there’s no right way to fly with your baby or toddler. Traveling with a toddler and a baby are entirely different but both challenging in their own ways. One of the best travel tips I can give is to try and stay positive. Traveling is already stressful enough without kids, so when you add them into the mix, they can definitely feed off our energy and tell if we’re stressed out. At the end of the day, traveling with kids is no walk in the park so trying to make light of hard situations and going with the flow has really helped me in the past. I also have plenty of crazy yet funny stories to look back on as well! :)
Being a mom of two littles, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on how to make traveling a little bit easier on us moms! Starting with, choosing flight times that work with your kids’ schedules. From my experience, most children are happiest in the mornings and not as much at nighttime. This is when I usually try and book most our flights. I understand that may not be an option, but traveling first thing in the morning has worked out better for us. For both my kids, scheduling a flight during nap time is sometimes risky, but I will say it has worked out amazing 90% of the time. The kids are usually overtired from all the airport chaos, so once they are on the plane they begin to doze off.
Next tip would be to bring a stroller or wear your baby. I will say choose whatever you are comfortable with. For me, 90% of the time I wear Blaire and push Blake in the stroller all the way through security until we board our plane. I leave our stroller right at the gate before getting on the plane and it’s been a game changer! Personally, I can’t travel without our Doona stroller (it holds up to 35 lbs so I will push Blake in it). It’s so convenient and makes the security process go a lot smoother. Keep in mind, when going through security you will need to take your baby out of the stroller and fold the stroller up to go through inspection like everything else. The Doona is known for converting from a stroller to car seat with one click so it definitely takes the pressure off when you feel overwhelmed going through security. For the times when Blake doesn’t want to be pushed in the stroller, I usually will have Gary push Blaire in the stroller and wear Blake using my Tushbaby. It’s amazing because it can hold up to 45 lbs and gives me so much back support. Another must have in my opinion when traveling! Say you don’t want to baby wear and both kids want to be pushed in a stroller, I would highly recommend the Zoe double stroller. It’s very easy to collapse and super lightweight like the Doona! You should also know that you are able to bring more than 3.4 oz of baby food, milk, water, etc. for your baby/toddler as long as you take them out of your carry-on and place them in an individual bin for screening. Sometimes, if Blaire doesn’t need a bottle right away, I will keep the formula powder in our Dr. Browns formula dispenser and then once we get through security buy a bottle of water.
Third would be to pack each child their own backpack with tons of snacks and new toys. This will not only make them feel important but will be easier to keep their stuff organized instead of you digging through the diaper bag for all their stuff. I try and have new and exciting snacks for Blake on the plane because then he gets excited to eat them since they’re different. This could also just mean cutting his sandwich in the shape of a star verses in half. So simple but makes the sandwich more appealing to him! I usually don’t go crazy with packing toys since they do take up a lot of room, but I try to pack 1-2 new toys or things for them to play with. For Blake that could be a new sticker book, new markers or fidget toys.
Fourth would be to get all diaper changes and potty breaks in before boarding the plane! I always wait right before we board to change diapers. I usually apply a ton of diaper cream just in case I’m unable to get up and change a diaper right away. Also, since we are starting to potty train Blake, I will keep him in overnight diapers because it holds more without him getting too uncomfortable.
Fifth is to take advantage of pre-boarding! If you have children under two you can pre-board most flights; just listen to the loudspeaker at your gate. It’s been a game changer for me because I have more time to get situated and it’s so much nicer to do without a tail of people rushing me to get to my seat. During that time, I wipe down the seats, get the kids situated, and just remind myself that things may not go as planned but that’s ok!
Sixth is to nurse or bottle feed at take-off and landing. As adults we know how to keep our ears from hurting with changes in altitude, but for our little ones it’s a whole different story. I always nursed with Blake and now bottle feed with Blaire (or offer a pacifier) to help with this discomfort. Now that Blake is older, I will usually have him drink water during this time.
Whew, this might seem like a lot but implementing these tips has helped me so much! If there’s anything to remember, try to relax and know that you aren’t alone. I always get worried about what people might think if my kid cries the entire plane ride, but I guarantee you it’s happened to most of us. Most of the time the person near you is either a mom themselves, dad, aunt, or uncle and they get it. But, if for some reason you happen to be sitting next to a grumpy rude someone, just remember chances are you’ll never see them again. Anytime I get stressed out, I try to remind myself how grateful I am to be traveling with my kids and that I’m making memories that will last a lifetime!
The whole crew after a 3.5 hour flight!
To my almost one year old
I’m sitting here and thinking just how grateful I am. I’ve been a ball of emotions the last couple of weeks as I begin to plan for Blaire’s first birthday. I feel like I just watched the last year flash before my eyes. No one talks about how hard it is when your child turns one. It brings upon so many emotions. You think back on all the beautiful and joyful moments yet also don’t forget those hard moments when you didn’t think you were going to make it. For some, it could be the last time you’re celebrating a first birthday. All the emotions you feel are valid. As I reflect on the last ten months, it’s truly been the biggest blessing and honor to watch my babies grow and become closer. I have learned patience, selflessness, and strength. There were plenty of times where I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but those were the moments that made me stronger.
In many ways, the last ten months seem like a blur. From that first night in the NICU, to the first time she said mama, to now almost becoming one, it’s been one of the most beautiful yet emotional years of my life. Looking back, I grew so much as a mother and truly learned to find the beauty in everyday life amongst the chaos. Life taught me the true meaning of slowing down, living in the moment and how a simple smile can change a person’s day.
As I start to plan her first birthday celebration, I can’t say I’m not grieving a little. Grieving that she won’t be this little forever. I keep getting flashbacks to those newborn days or the first time she met her big brother and can’t help but be happy and sad at the same time. I look back at old photos and think, “Who is she?” I tell myself she’s the same but different. That’s when I begin to realize how far I’ve come and how it is such an accomplishment getting through that first year. There is so much that is thrown at us moms and navigating it all should be celebrated.
Blaire has brought our family so much joy. It’s hard not to get emotional as I think about all we’ve been through. For as much as I’ve been trying not to think about her first birthday, I’ve found excitement and joy in what’s yet to come. I thank God everyday he chose her to be a part of our family and know that her little smile will forever change the world.
Letting Go of Mom Guilt
As a mom, I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced mom guilt. It’s that overwhelming feeling of not being enough or doing enough for our children. As much as we try to ignore it, I want all my mom friends to know that you’re not alone in your feelings. Nowadays, there’s so many unrealistic expectations put on us moms. It’s normal to think you’re not doing enough, especially when society tells us we need to be “doing it all”. The good news is you’re not alone and awareness is half the battle. With that, I’ve learned and am still learning some tips and tricks to help combat that mom guilt when it starts to creep in.
For a long time, I always felt the need to do everything myself because I wanted everything to be done “the right way”. It wasn't until I let go of the idea that I had to do everything on my own and began leaning on my husband and family for support that I finally found some much-needed breathing room. By allowing other people to help me, that relinquished a lot of my stress and helped take the pressure off. Now, I feel more energized and supported in more ways than one since I have a great support system around me.
Mom guilt can show up in so many ways. For me, I often felt mom guilt when I was working full time and missed out on some of Blake’s milestones, whereas now I get it if I don’t have activities planned for my kids every day since I’m home with them. I find myself breaking down when that guilt begins to creep in, so I started keeping track of small wins on my phone notepad to help ease my mind whenever I begin to feel anxious. It’s helped me tremendously and is a gentle reminder that I’m capable and might just be having a bad moment.
As moms, we need to remember to give ourselves grace and realize that we don’t have to be everything to everyone. Most days I feel overwhelmed but have realized it’s okay to focus on self-care or have a day where I might not be able to do everything I had planned. My goal with everything I do is to focus 100% of my energy on what is right in front of me. I can’t do it all, but I try to give each area of my life the very best that I can which helps alleviate that mom guilt. It’s common as moms to feel like we’ve “failed” our kids because of the standards we hold for ourselves in our heads. I’ve learned to just let that go and truly focus on being in the present instead of letting those unrealistic standards get the best of me. My family deserves the best version of me so if that means spending less time on my phone or not planning a million activities, I’m going to do it. I’d rather not spread myself so thin.
If there’s anything I want you to take away, it’s that you need to learn to forgive yourself and do what’s right for you and your family in any given moment. No one is perfect and you will make mistakes. I just remember my first day back to work after having Blake and as I was sitting in my meeting, I heard him screaming and crying from the other room. My mama heart ached, and I started going down the rabbit hole of if I made the right decision to go back to work. At that moment in time, I was meant to be where I was and had to really work on balancing that guilt in my head, knowing of all the good I was doing for my family. Even now, there are several days where I feel like I’m struggling to push through and might not be able to accomplish all the things I had planned but have learned there’s nothing wrong with that. Instead of beginning that negative self-talk and letting the mom guilt creep in, I try to take a deep breath and reset my thinking; something so simple, yet so powerful.
At the end of the day, it’s normal to feel mom guilt. The fact that you have any type of guilt in the first place makes you a great mom because you ultimately want what’s best for your children. Always remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect mom as hard as we try. Our imperfect is perfect in our child’s eyes.
Life- the greatest teacher of all.
I blinked and just like that I’ll be celebrating my five-year anniversary this weekend! It’s true when they say time is a thief. I still remember my wedding day like it was just yesterday. I was a ball of emotions and couldn’t wait to marry my best friend. As I look back, I can’t believe how much has transpired since that special day. From living through a pandemic, to losing my father-in-law along with welcoming my two beautiful babies into the world, life has taught me a lot. Life has a funny way of teaching us some valuable lessons. It will create sadness, so we truly understand happiness as well as chaos so we can appreciate relaxing times (especially as a mom!). As I reflect on the last five years, I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person and a mom. As cliche as it sounds, life is truly so short. I try to remember this through all of life’s ups and downs and find myself starting to appreciate the lessons that come from it.
Being a parent has been the biggest challenge I’ve faced and yet the one that has taught me the most. It has also helped me to focus on what I truly want my kids to know. Life definitely isn’t linear and doesn’t always make sense, but I’ve come to appreciate the beauty in it all. With that being said, here are five life lessons I will be passing down to my children, in hopes that all these simple yet beautiful lessons will stick with them for life.
Kindness is always the answer. A simple act that is often overlooked. Being kind can ultimately change a person’s day and turn good moments into great moments. It can also carry you with grace through a tough situation. We truly never know what a person may be going through, so one small act of kindness can have such a ripple effect from one person to another. If you have to choose between being right or being kind, always choose kindness. It may feel “good” in the moment to be right, but if there’s anything I hope to teach my kids it’s that kindness always win.
Next is to always remember there is only one of YOU. Both Blake and Blaire, have unique qualities that make them so special. One being bold and the other being quiet. One being daring and the other being cautious. I don’t want either of them being anyone but themselves. It’s hard sometimes to not compare yourself to another person, trust me I’ve done it and still do, but showing up as you are and remaining true to yourself is enough. When you’re authentically yourself, it brings out the best version of you. I get that it’s always not easy with social media at our fingertips, but always remember that you were uniquely made. Don’t ever forget that when you start to go down the road of comparison.
Third is that life can be hard, but you are stronger than you think. The days you don’t feel like getting out of bed, going out of your comfort zone or feeling like you failed, these are the days you may just have to push through but I promise you will get through it and become stronger. You’ll look back and say “wow” that was a hard chapter of my life, but I did it! There might be days where your heart feels like it is breaking (especially as a mom when you see your child hurting or lose a loved one), but I promise you are strong enough to put it back together. Life will throw you curveballs but it’s what you make of them. Focus on trying to find the positive in hard situations because it might change your perspective and give you that extra push when you don’t think you can make it.
Fourth is go the extra mile. People notice and it can make all the difference. Hold the door open for someone, help that mom who may be struggling on the plane or simply make time to catch up with a friend on the phone verses texting. It may seem so simple, but these little steps can make all the difference.
Lastly, always be honest. It’s about doing the right thing when no one is watching. Such a simple yet strong impact we can have on our children when they are young. It can be hard to do the right thing in certain situations, but we are teaching our children how to hold themselves accountable, learn about the consequences of their actions and the importance of trust. I’m so thankful for my mom for being such a model of integrity during my formative years as a child and strive to be that model for Blake and Blaire.
Always remember that it’s the simple things in life that are extraordinary and can make all the difference. Life is our greatest teacher of all if we just sit back and enjoy the ride.
The Invisible Load of Motherhood
Between caring for my kids and countless hospital visits last week, let’s just say I’ve never been more overwhelmed in my life. The exhaustion was and still is real. I truly felt helpless and was in full-blown fight or flight mode all week trying to figure out what was causing me so much physical pain. Luckily, I’ve been trending upward and am really focusing on slowing down and listening to my body. It seems so simple but yet can make all the difference in our day to day lives. Let’s just say I, and several other moms I know, are living with this invisible load that comes with the pressure to do all the things, all the time. While in the hospital, I had a lot of time to reflect and think about what really matters. If there’s a silver lining in all of this, it’s that I learned it isn’t healthy to try and muddle through life in a constant state of chaos while accepting “stressed mom” status as a part of motherhood. I learned that the hard way.
I get it. It’s a lot easier said than done. I hated when people would tell me just to “relax”. I swear it made me not relax and actually more upset. As moms, it’s hard to find time to slow down or often reflect, but as someone who just went through a burnout, I’m telling you how important it is. The invisible load of motherhood can be so taxing but learning to slow down your mind and body is crucial. We don’t have to accept stress as our default state of being. It’s important that we learn how stress shows up, what our triggers are, along with how to break away from the stress cycle which ultimately will allow us to show up the way we want for ourselves and our children.
If you’re anything like me, even the task of asking for help or communicating your needs feels like another burden in and of itself. I was so scared of being away from my babies for a week, but it was necessary in order to heal, and I had to rely on my people. I wouldn’t have made it through without the help from my mom, dad and husband. I’ve written about this before but having a great support system will make all the difference; especially when you’re sick. By sharing your invisible burdens, it can allow yourself to destress and redistribute some of your responsibilities. I know that I had to fully rely on my mom and husband to advocate for me last week because I simply couldn’t do it myself while being in so much pain. It was hard for me to “let go” but it was necessary. Of course, we all survived, barely, but we did! Even though routines were thrown out the door, meals weren’t perfect, and the house was a mess, I learned how important it is not to run myself into the ground. Whether that means calling a friend, working out, taking a “mommy time out”, or simply reading a chapter of a book, take time for yourself as much as you’re able too. If we want to show up for our children, we need to take care of ourselves as well. I was putting myself on the backburner by not listening to my body and ultimately paid the price. As my own mother once said, “how do you expect a car to function if you’re not putting the proper fuel in it?”
At the end of the day, moms need to remember that our feelings, stress levels and physical well-being matters too! Simple changes to our day-to-day routines can make all the difference and prevent us from burning out. Whether that be mindful breathing, cuddling your baby, going on a short walk, or simply fueling your body properly, it all matters! Society often reinforces the idea that “good moms” sacrifice their own needs, but all that does is set us up for stress and burnout. Personally, I feel like I’ve been living in this “stressed mom era” but it’s time to let go.
I’ll leave you with this. If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got.
Dear exhausted mom, it’s OK to say no.
Saying “no” might seem like a small act or come off the wrong way, but after having both my babies I’ve learned that it’s OK to say “no”. As moms, we often feel compelled to say “yes” to every demand, request, or expectation that is placed on us. However, learning to say “no” is not a bad thing and can actually allow us to slow down. As moms, we are constantly living our lives in fast-forward, moving from one thing to the next, and most times don’t have time to catch our breath. Let’s just call it the marathon of motherhood!
After having my daughter last November, I’ve always felt a constant need to be doing something every minute of every single day because I barely did anything while I was pregnant with her. I’ve put this constant pressure on myself the last nine months to make up for lost time. I didn’t want to miss out on life, so I kept saying “yes” to every opportunity that came my way. It’s not a bad thing, but I’ve learned that saying “no” has allowed me to slow down and been crucial for my mental health. I’ve also discovered I can miss out on stuff and still survive along with being happy. I know, shocking!
There are seasons of life when our schedules are naturally full. Don’t want another thing on your weekly to-do list? If you’re tired, it’s ok not to sign your kid up for an activity. It won’t hurt them. Don’t feel like cooking for the night? It’s ok if your kids are having Mac and Cheese for a second night in a row. Honestly, they probably will love you more for it anyways and it will be a win-win situation for all. Over the last couple of months, I’ve realized that I’ve been the one putting all the weight and pressure on my shoulders by simply trying to do too much. I’m here to tell you how important it is to take a step back. It’s important to remember that saying “no” does not make you lesser of a mom. In fact, it can make us better moms by allowing us to preserve our mental health and energy, which in turn enables us to be more present and nurturing for our kids. I can’t tell you the number of times where I’ve felt like I’ve needed to be somewhere or doing something so I wouldn’t have mom guilt later on. As moms, we often feel like we’re failing if we don’t say “yes’” to our kid’s every request or sign our kids up for every activity. I sure have felt that way recently when I don’t feel like going out because the thought of getting two kids out the house seems daunting and too much of a hassle for me. It’s easy to get caught up in what society expects from us as moms. Social media, especially, often paints this picture that the ideal mom is someone who is always available and always saying “yes”. The reality is that saying “no” can be much more powerful and allow us to set boundaries and recognize when we have no fuel left in our tank. Don’t get me wrong, there are seasons of life when we need to suck it up and push through. But, with that recognizing when to pump the brakes and slow down. You aren’t lazy but you are saving yourself from overcommitting and burning out.
Embracing the power of saying “no” has brought a lot of positive change within my family’s life. Prioritizing our needs and not what the world and everyone else thinks, has been life changing. This is not me saying you shouldn’t say “yes” to opportunities in life (of course I do!), but just a reminder that it’s all a balance. Let people know what you can or can’t commit too, and when you do choose to say “no” be kind and clear. By prioritizing my mental health and well-being, I’ve been able to focus on what truly matters which has led to a more balanced and fulfilling family life. Don’t let the weight of others’ opinions or societal perceptions hold you down; you know what’s best for you and your family and it’s ok to sometimes just say “no”.