My favorite chapter yet: transitioning from one to two.

I can’t imagine life without both my babies now. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter thinking how I could love another just as much as my first, but I promise you mama, you can, and your heart will double in size. Becoming a mom of two has been so beautiful and rewarding but it’s also been hard. We’ve all heard the saying, “the days are long, but the years are short”. I try to remind myself of this when I feel like I’m in the thick of it and trying to survive the day-to-day chaos. I’ll be honest, there are days where I feel like I can conquer the world, and then the next I feel like I’m falling short. I definitely have felt a lot of mom guilt when trying to split my attention between both my kids, but I’m here to remind you that it’s normal. Transitioning from one to two is a big change, but as each day passes you figure it out and gain confidence along the way. After having my second, I remember constantly doubting myself. My mind began to go into overdrive with anxious thoughts and what ifs. It’s like I never had a baby before. If there’s anything you take away from this post, it’s that you just figure it out as you go. You get stronger, you gain your confidence back, you start letting go of the small stuff and you lean on your people.

This is all new. It’s like learning to ride a bike all over again. You are learning how to balance becoming a new mom of two and your children are learning how to become siblings. At first, my son Blake had a hard time adjusting to his new sister. Unfortunately, that was because he had RSV when she was first born. Now, that was rough, but I got through it! I remember thinking and praying that they would eventually start to interact and love on one another. Fast forward eight months later and he finally has warmed up to her in more ways than one and loves to play with his “sissy” each and every day. It truly warms my mama heart and makes the chaos all worth it. I had to remind myself it’s just as hard for him going from being an only child to having a sibling. I’ve realized making one-on-one time with him has been so important; those extra snuggles are everything. Blake also loves being so involved! Of course, I should’ve known this since he is such a busy boy, but he loves to help mama get a diaper, a toy, or “sissy” bottle. Take advantage of your toddlers or older kids wanting to help. It’s a win, win situation and they help you get stuff done!

Also, pick your battles. Yes, I have learned to just let stuff go and realized that sometimes it is okay to go easy on your kids (and yourself). It’s okay if he or she wants to stay up 30 minutes past bedtime. It’s okay if they don’t want to wear the outfit you picked out for the day or eat cookies all day long. It’s a huge relief when you don’t have to exert so much energy into everything and you can just say okay and be at peace with it. Pick your battles and where you put your energy into! Now that I feel like I’m getting into a routine with both kids, I have found that embracing the chaos is best, just like I talk about in my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and taking time for yourself is normal and necessary. Be easy on yourself and know that you will eventually find your groove. It can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’re in the thick of it, but you will get there.

Also, let’s be real. Social media can be such an illusion. I have a love/hate relationship with it. It can somehow make you feel sad and happy at the same time, right? Why does this mom always seem put together? Why does that mom make it look so easy? I’m here to tell you, don’t compare yourself and your kids, especially during those early postpartum days. It’s so easy to get caught up and compare yourself to other moms but just remember we all face hardships and stress along with highs and lows. Every mom and family are unique in their own way. Just do you and what’s best for your babies and the rest will follow.

Spoiler alert: we all sort of don’t know what we are doing, but deep down we all know what’s best and works for us and our kids. That’s what being a mom is and loving someone wholeheartedly. The unknown can be scary and create anxiety, but it’s also exciting! It can make us feel like we wish we had a crystal ball telling us what is next, but it can also teach us a lot about ourselves which is how we grow and learn. Life as mom of two has of course thrown me some curveballs, but I try to always remember that I am my kids' world. When life gets tough, and it will, lean on your people for support, don’t be scared to ask for help, don’t judge and don’t dwell. I promise, just like the rest of us you and your babies are going to be perfect in your own imperfect way. Don’t look back mama because the best is yet to come!