This too, shall pass.
Dear anxious mama, I see you.
The constant racing thoughts that keep you up at night, keep you from going out to avoid people, and keep you from truly opening up to others. That’s me. I’m in the thick of it and you’re not alone.
Why can’t I escape my own thoughts? Why can’t I go back to living without anxiety prior to becoming a mom? These are questions I ask myself daily. This can’t be my new normal. Constantly overanalyzing everything I do as a mom, questioning if my daughter is breathing throughout the night (yes, I stare at her camera), conversations with friends, replaying the same situation over and over in my head. Feels like I’m quite literally losing my mind. I’m here to remind you that these thoughts are normal and temporary.
A wise woman once told me, “This too, shall pass”. That woman is my mom, and she is right. This is the season of life I’m in, and even though it’s consumed with anxious thoughts, those thoughts don’t define me nor will be forever. Some days are easier than others, but I strive every day to work on not letting my negative thoughts control me. I dealt with severe anxiety while I was pregnant with my daughter, and currently am dealing with it postpartum. I always would and still get so angry with myself wondering why I can’t just shake it. The more I fought to ignore it, the more it would creep in. Even though anxiety is a current part of my life, doesn’t mean it has to control my life, and it doesn’t have to control yours either.
I began focusing on the positive. So simple but has made such an impact. I’m very blessed to have two healthy children, a supportive spouse, great friends, the list goes on. Living in the moment and not with my anxious thoughts has helped me tremendously. I also realized how something such as simple as rephrasing a sentence along with positive self-talk can make a huge difference in the day-to-day busyness of mom life. Working out (love my Peloton!) along with getting outside for 30 minutes a day has made me feel like myself again too. It’s normal to feel like you may be losing yourself, but it takes time. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Knowing that you may not be ok, is the first step. Again, this is temporary mama and won’t last forever. Lastly, never be afraid to reach out.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. From someone who survived some of my darkest days during pregnancy by letting my intrusive thoughts get the best of me, you are stronger than you think you are. Just remember, you may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Keep moving forward and know that this too, shall pass.
